Dear twin parents,
I have 3 month old b/g twins and am finally moving out of the fog of post-partum sleep deprivation and WTFness. I've been extremely lucky to have loads of help for the past three months – and even now, I have a live-in nanny and fill-in babysitters. But this can't go on indefinitely. I need to learn how to manage my kids by myself, even as the thought stops me cold and makes me want to run away screaming. I cannot ask my nanny or babysitter to do this unless I can do it myself.
So, this is the question— how does one take care of two babies by oneself? I need details. For example, how do I feed two babies at the same time (one is exclusively breastfed while the other is almost exclusively bottle-fed)? How can I bounce baby E to sleep while baby Q is still feeding (he takes for-freaking-ever, thanks to acid reflux)? How do I make sure they sleep for the same amount of time, instead of baby E's 15 minute bullshit naps while baby Q happily sleeps for an hour or longer (this is not conducive to synchronizing their schedules)?
Any advice would be appreciated. I'd like to hear your strategies. For daytime… Thankfully, we have easy nighttime sleepers. Hallelujah!
And those of you who have an older child in the mix- please tell me how you refrained from sending that child to boarding school for toddlers. Hah. I'm joking. Kind of.
Thanks,
Simi
Hi Simi,
ReplyDeletesorry I didn't see this until today..I'll forward it on to the group.
yes, it's tough.
I had one exclusively breastfed and one who turned into exclusively bottle fed....let me think back (now, those first 6 months seem so long ago now that I've got 2 1/2 year olds). At about 3 months, I started the EASY routine (Eat, Awake time, Sleep, Your time). You might be familiar with that already. I felt bad, but the one who would take a bottle, I'd sometimes have to just sit in his bouncy seat and prop the bottle up with blankets so I could get/nurse the other. It gets so much easier when they can hold the bottles themselves. As soon as my breast-fed baby finally took to the bottle (because it was fun to hold- at around 9-10 months for him) I weaned. I felt terrible feeling like i had to give up nursing sooner than I'd hope, but in the end, weaning at that age was great because it's just easier to keep them on the same eating schedule when you can give them both a bottle at the same time. And, as I saw my friends with singletons having a hard time weaning as their babies got older and became really attached as toddlers, I didn't have to deal with that (thank god). I remember being amazed at how much more time I had not nursing at that age because they could feed themselves (with bottles) sitting in their highchairs and I could be free!
I remember vividly wondering just the same thing...how am i going to bounce/rock both to sleep? that's when I realized I needed to start some sort of "sleep training", as the only thing you can do is get them to learn to fall asleep on their own . We separated them for naps/night time sleep in two different rooms so they wouldn't wake ea. other. I kept a sleep journal so I'd know when they woke and started to put them down for naps after they'd been awake for about 1 hour 20 min. I remember it was a life-saver when I found out at a new-mom's group that babies at that age only stay awake for about 90 minutes at a time. If you can get them down before they hit the "over-tired" stage, they start to learn how to fall asleep on their own. I introduced sleep "lovey" blankies for comfort which worked so well...my guys are still sooooo attached to their "snuggies" that I have 4 of each of theirs as I have to switch them every couple of days to launder.
I didn't really try to coordinate their schedules, except for doing the EASY for each. I don't remember them being way off from each other, but we'd definitely have bad days when they would be. As they got older, I was able to start putting them both down at the same time, i think that was around 7 or 8 months after we were all used to the EASY routine and each being able to fall asleep pretty successfully on own.
In a nutshell, let me just say, unfortunately, as a mom of twins, you just have more crying because you just can't be there all the time for both at the same time! It used to really bum me out, and it still is the hardest thing. But, the good news is that because you can't attend to both immediately all the time, they do tend to learn to sooth themselves sooner than, say, a singleton whose parents are able to attend to them immediately all the time. I know may be little consolation right now.
I do remember getting into a very stable routine/schedule from about 9 months to 15 months. It was a really great time of two solid naps a day....fun making their little baby foods, etc. I actually remember thinking we should have another baby at around their first birthday. Then, at around 15 months, we had a couple hard transition months from the 2 naps to 1 nap and into the world of toddlerhood (which totally burst my bubble of thinking we should have another baby!)
I'm sure you'll get a lot of helpful responses. Thinking of you and please let me know if you have any specific questions about the above.
All the best,
Lana